


A Really Bad Egg

by Ninjababe



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Humor, Stealth Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-05
Updated: 2012-07-05
Packaged: 2017-11-09 06:21:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/452302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninjababe/pseuds/Ninjababe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new member of the Avengers gets a tour of the helicarrier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Really Bad Egg

**Author's Note:**

> This is Ithildin's fault. Just because everything in this universe is her fault. Also, she was kind enough to give me the title.
> 
> Let's see if you saw this crossover coming.

The SHIELD agent strode into the small ante chamber near the airstrip of the helicarrier and suddenly stopped in mid step. He didn't have many expectations of the new member of the Avengers, but he didn't expect to see a very tanned man with dark hair and eyes dressed so casually in cut off jean shorts and a tshirt advertising a brand of alcohol. 

"About time," the man stated with a small glare before his expression turned into a broad grin. "I was about to get bored. You probably wouldn't have enjoyed that."

"If you follow me, sir," The SHIELD agent stated as he moved towards the door.

"Of course, son," the newest member of the Avengers stated with a grin. "And, call me Jack. So, you're giving me this little tour of the halicarrier?"

"It's helicarrier, sir." the Agent corrected.

Jack waved a hand. "Eh."

"Here is the infirmary," the agent said as the two walked into said room.

"Beeping machines, surly nurses," Jack said with a wide grin. Seeing the nurse glare at him, he added with a wider grin. "I like surly nurses, especially as pretty as the ones here are."

The nurse giggled as she turned away.

"That was amazing," the agent muttered as he led Jack away from the infirmary.

Jack swayed a bit as he turned a corner. "Why is that?"

"Nurse Carmichael never smiles," the agent replied, awed.

Jack shrugged one sholdier. "It's a gift."

Nodding, the agent opened a door. "Here's the team's briefing room. Here's where the missions are planned out."

"Uh huh," Jack replied, peering into an exhaust vent.

"Is something wrong, sir?" the agent asked, looking confused.

Jack waved both hands, shooing the agent out of the room. "Just preparing for future possibilities."

A few moments later, the two arrive on the bridge.

"Ooo! Pretties!" Jack exclaimed as he almost skipped across the room towards Director Fury's station.

"Is there a problem, gentlemen?" Nick Fury asked, his eyebrows raised.

The agent stood straighter. "No sir, just giving the gentleman the requested tour."

"This is nice," Jack added. "Almost as good as being on the sea."

Director Fury nodded, a bit confused.

Jack pointed a finger into the air. "Anyway, on with the tour!" He then grabbed the agent by the upper arm and manhandled him off the bridge.

After the doors to the bridge closed, the agent straightened his suit and waved down a hallway. "This way, sir."

After peeking into the cargo bay (which Jack thought needed more sparklies), and the armoury (which Jack somehow got unlocked), the two finally arrived at their end destination.

"And, this is the labs, sir," the agent stated, glad the tour was over. "Here's Mr. Stark. Have a good day."

Both Jack and Tony Stark ignored the rapidly retreating agent. Tony stroad forward and looked Jack up and down. "So, you're the newest Avenger."

Jack grinned. "Part time, mate..."

Tony snorted. "And, what's your special power? Smarminess?"

Jack's grin turned wicked. "Son, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?"

**Author's Note:**

> So? Did you see Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean as the new Avenger? 
> 
> Comments adored!


End file.
